Learning To Put Yourself First: 3 Tips for Today

Work. Family. Volunteer. Church. All of the things that take from you in different ways. As life continues to fill up with responsibilities and constantly evolving obligations, we often tend to forget to pause and put ourselves first.

Today's message is simple: you have to be intentional about putting yourself first. Putting yourself first isn't about being selfish; it's about ensuring you're good so everyone around you can experience the good you, not the depleted you.

Because that version of you will only get you so far. Recently, I've heard many suggestions that there is no such thing as work-life balance; instead, it's about how well you can juggle. But here's the thing: even in the juggling, if you aren't careful, you'll find yourself struggling to maintain order. And when you lose order, you lose peace and stability. All of this leads me to my point: you have to learn how to put yourself first. Especially, as women, we're naturally nurturers who put others first, even if it means sacrificing a bit of ourselves to do so. And that's okay, because that's what we were created to do, but taking care of ourselves needs to fit into the equation.

So, the year for me, for the most part, has been all about me finding new ways to prioritize myself, going back and rediscovering the little joys while also discovering new ones. Here are my Learning To Put Yourself First: 3 Tips for Today to help you get started:

TIP 1: FIND YOUR HAPPY

Discover what makes you happy outside of your family and work obligations. If you didn't have any of these responsibilities today and it was just you, what would make you happy? It's a great question, and part of the question might take you back to your childhood or a simpler time. For me, sketching, reading, and writing were my happy place growing up. Being able to nurture the creative within me was a serotonin boost. The kind that even scrolling on social can't replicate. My happy place is all about channeling my right to freedom, it's creative expression, it's permission to dream, imagine, and create.

TIP 2: LEARN SOMETHING NEW

The reality is our minds need to be stimulated and we need to stretch our capacity for curiosity. While the brain is not a muscle, it is a house of different neurons and signals. This indicates how important it is for us to feed our brains with new signals to make us quicker and sharper, and I'm not a scientist, but something tells me this likely makes for a healthier mind and more well-rounded life.

Our brain is a series of circuits and pathways, and every time we do, think, or experience something, we fire a pathway. If a certain pathway fires enough times, in the right way, our brain will reinforce that circuit so we can fire it more quickly and accurately. Learn more from Learner Lab on Neuroplasticity.

TIP 3: ALWAYS CARVE OUT TIME FOR RETREAT

As I write this I'm coming off of putting the act of retreating into action. From carving out time to sit down and read a few books to allowing myself to actually take the trip rather than just fantasizing about it and letting my what if's of hesitation dictate my choices.

A Spontaneous Trip to Dubai Supporting my Husband

The best thing we can do for ourselves as women (especially, those of us who are married or have children) is to give ourselves permission to step away even if it's just for 10 minutes a day. Retreating in this season for me looks like embracing stillness, but it also looks like adventure, anything that allows my mind to develop calm and curiosity. Why? Because swinging between calm and curiosity allows me to actually live by thinking, mindfully breathing, and doing.

Comfort Reading while Waiting on Thanksgiving Dinner

It's in the quiet and curious moments that we can hear God's voice, we can connect with the Holy Spirit and press and ponder with Him. This is far better than being in a constant state of go, go, go -- a state that doesn't even allow us to discern if it's God's or our own thoughts.

It might not be reading for you or a trip, it might be baking, or listening to a sermon/the bible or a walk, whatever it is, I encourage you and dare you to do it. Lean in to your needs, acknowledge your thoughts, and allow God to nudge you in the right direction.

There are so many other ways to put yourself first, but these are the simple and easy approaches you can start applying today.